Safer Sex

Condoms are ready when you are and can prevent both STIs (including HIV) and pregnancy. They come in two types: external (for a penis or dildo) and internal (for a vagina or anus). For best protection, choose a condom made out of latex, plastic (polyurethane), or synthetic rubber.

You can add lube (water or silicone-based) to help keep things pleasurable and prevent condoms from breaking, slipping, or falling off during sex.

A dental dam is a thin, flexible, square sheet (latex or polyurethane) that covers the vagina or anus during oral sex. It’s a go-to for keeping you and your partner(s) safe from STIs when going down on each other.

To learn more, visit:
https://www.cdc.gov/condom-use/index.html

Birth control helps you avoid an unplanned pregnancy. It also allows you to choose—if and when—you want children. There are many safe, effective, and easy-to-use methods, such as the pill, an implant, an intrauterine device (IUD), a patch, a ring, an injectable shot, or a condom. You can even double up for protection against both STIs and pregnancy by using a condom plus another method, like the pill. 

Planned Parenthood gives a rundown of the different types of birth control. And if you want to know which birth control options are best for you, you can also ask a healthcare provider.

Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) is a highly effective medicine that can prevent HIV. This prescription pill or shot can cut your risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99%. It works for people of all genders and sexes if they don’t have HIV (or are HIV-negative). Think it might be for you? Talk with a healthcare provider and visit: https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/using-hiv-medication-to-reduce-risk/pre-exposure-prophylaxis.

Things can happen in the heat of the moment—maybe you had sex without protection, your condom fell off, or something else went wrong.  If so, you have options! Effective medications are available to reduce your risk of STIs, HIV, or pregnancy. These medications include doxy PEP for STIs, PEP for HIV, and emergency contraception (EC) for pregnancy. To be most effective, these medications should be taken as soon as possible after having unprotected sex. See Dive Deeper below to learn more.

By age 25, half of all sexually active people will get at least one STI—often without symptoms. Being in a long-term relationship or having one partner doesn’t guarantee protection. You or your partner(s) could have an STI and not know it. STI testing is the only way to find out.

To reduce the risks of sharing STIs, partners should get tested, share results, and get treatment if needed before sex. Learn more at https://www.cdc.gov/sti/index.html.

Bacterial STIs, like chlamydia, can be cured with antibiotics, and viral STIs, like herpes and HIV, can be well- managed. If you test positive for a new STI or currently have one, you should let your partner(s) know. For more info, see our STIs page.

Explore the many ways to be intimate. Start by understanding your sexual anatomy and what pleases you. If you want to lower your risk of STIs/HIV or pregnancy, you’ve got choices! Enjoy lower-risk activities like kissing, touching, massaging, “dry sex” (rubbing together with clothes on), or even masturbating at the same time. For more ideas, visit www.fiveactionsteps.org/2.

To get the safer sex convo going, you could lead with something like:

Discussing PrEP can open the door to talking about HIV testing, treatment, and other prevention options. Try these convo starters:

Suggest learning about PrEP together—research online, jot down questions, and/or visit a healthcare provider. This way, you can both form opinions. Check out the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for more convo starters.

Let your partner(s) know if you want to use a condom and why. Then, ask how they feel. Try to remain calm and matter of fact:

Make it fun! Discuss different types, colors, and flavors. And, if they’re down, suggest a shopping trip together.

Note: If they aren’t on board with using condoms or you don’t have one in the heat of the moment, you could suggest other lower-risk sexual activities.

A dental dam is super easy to use and keeps things safer for mouth-to-vagina or mouth-to-anus action. To suggest using one, you could try saying something like:

Whether you’re already using birth control, considering it, or want your partner(s) to get on board, kick off the convo by letting them know why it’s a big deal for you. Then, explore their thoughts and keep talking. If they have questions, offer to look up answers together or encourage them to contact a healthcare provider for more details. You could start the chat with:

Before getting physical, have an honest chat about STIs/HIV. To lower the risks, everyone should get tested, share results, and get treatment if needed. But remember, testing alone won’t protect you—many people still need to practice safer sex to prevent future infections. Try saying something like:

Being upfront about your STI status is key to protecting each other and showing you care. If you currently have an STI, inform your partner(s) or notify them through an anonymous notification service. For more, visit our Sexually Transmitted Infections page.

If you’re worried after unprotected sex or a safer sex method fails, talk it out. Share what happened, make a plan to reduce the risks, and express your feelings. A caring partner will value your honesty and work through it with you. Examples include:

Sometimes it’s best to talk in the heat of the moment. If a condom breaks or slips, mention it ASAP. Take action, like stopping sex. You could say:

Consider prevention steps like taking PEP for HIV, emergency contraception, and doxy PEP for STIs. Contact a healthcare provider to determine the best time to get tested.